White coat. Heels.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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