Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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