I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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