He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize