Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
