dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize