just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
