After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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