first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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