haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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