I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
