Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
