The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
