Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
