People with herpes should wear stickers.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
