im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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