A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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