Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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