Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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