I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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