Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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