I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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