Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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