yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize