in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
