i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
