Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize