Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it's like iHOP with fire
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
