Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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