I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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