i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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