break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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