I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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