You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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