I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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