i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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