you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My vagina is very pro this idea
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
