i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
