No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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