he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
