So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
