just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
