Don't you send me to vm
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
