ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
