Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
