Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
