Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize