I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize