wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
