How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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