A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
