how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
