We named our party play list daddy issues
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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