does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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