Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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