Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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